Sunday, June 20, 2010

I Am Not Afraid to Take Flight ~ Creative Journaling

I spent this past week being "present" in my body and asking myself what it feels like to be me in this moment. What I discovered were mild feelings of anxiety running through me like an electrical current. How long had this been going on? It's curious. I really have no idea because up until now I realize I have lived my life trapped inside in my own head. I have literally been swinging my way through this jungle of life one thought stream at a time, each one leading to the next but never really taking me anywhere.

Putting this in writing helps me to see and understand the ways in which I choose to ignore what my creative whispers have been so desperately trying to tell me, that I am enough right now. I see the ways in which I mask and try to soothe my own discomfort with TV, busy work, mind created excuses in various forms and yes, sometimes even alcohol so that I don't have to face those demons now. But, until I do, my dreams will remain trapped in a future that can never come.

The anxiety is about my fear of confronting my own inner critic and taking action in spite of her. Or, perhaps it's more about loving her enough to push through the fear, that I might actually set my heart free and lead the life I have always dreamed. In my now, I give my heart the space to release thought and trust my wordless soul to carry me through upon the silent winds of beingness. I send love and light to that fearful girl inside who wants only to feel safe and know she'll be okay. I am not afraid to take flight. I am loved. I am safe.

Weekly Journal Challenge: Be present in your body this week. You can do this by focusing on your breathing for a moment or two. What feelings come up? Do not analyze or judge, just FEEL. Ask yourself, what are you using as your excuse for not taking action today? Create a journal page about what you discovered. I would love to visit any blogs that take me up on this. Just leave your invitation via a comment and link.


slommler said...

Well said Kitty!!! And good for you!! Don't be afraid to fly!! You have wonderful things to create and share!!

Such a Wondrous Place this Faery Space said...

I love this post dear friend. Our only hindrance is our own thoughts. But, what I am learning is thought are also our wings. Each new thing that blesses my life comes with some fears. But, talking about them, journaling, and art help me through. I want you to look at all that you have created since we "met." Since you graced my flickr pages. You are a creator of beauty and light. I look at this blog, your ning, and the dolls that are more beautiful than any I have ever seen. You have a gift. I am so glad to know your sweet way. I am going to go meditate and journal on this and your bliss ideas. Thanks for doing the Creative Awakenings prompts. I know it is just what I need right now to make me brave. Thanks. Blessings, Amy

gail said...

Hi Kitty, I truly loved this post. It has given me so much to think about. I also love the post below. I am a home with an income of one also and would love to leave that corporate world behind as well. I always love visiting here and feeling so inspired!

I also enjoyed seeing the photos of your two new family members. How sweet!

Have a pretty week and happy creating, (()) gail

Heather McAndrews said...

Oh Kitty,
How is it that "you" could have fear. When I look at all that you have created I am in constant awe! Thank you for sharing the visual of swinging through the jungle on those thoughts. I too feel as though I'm not quite able to land. I'm beginning to wonder if my illusions of the "other side" are just that - envy perhaps? Is the grass really greener? Bravo to you for sharing such intimate spaces of your brain, for facing these issues with such bravery, and for inspiring ALL OF US to do the same. It's a pleasure to be sailing with you.

Zaa said...

It sounds like you've found " the wind beneath your wings " and now get ready for a wild ride of sweet freedom... Lovely blog.. thanks for sharing.