I spent this past week being "present" in my body and asking myself what it feels like to be me in this moment. What I discovered were mild feelings of anxiety running through me like an electrical current. How long had this been going on? It's curious. I really have no idea because up until now I realize I have lived my life trapped inside in my own head. I have literally been swinging my way through this jungle of life one thought stream at a time, each one leading to the next but never really taking me anywhere.
Putting this in writing helps me to see and understand the ways in which I choose to ignore what my creative whispers have been so desperately trying to tell me, that I am enough right now. I see the ways in which I mask and try to soothe my own discomfort with TV, busy work, mind created excuses in various forms and yes, sometimes even alcohol so that I don't have to face those demons now. But, until I do, my dreams will remain trapped in a future that can never come.
The anxiety is about my fear of confronting my own inner critic and taking action in spite of her. Or, perhaps it's more about loving her enough to push through the fear, that I might actually set my heart free and lead the life I have always dreamed. In my now, I give my heart the space to release thought and trust my wordless soul to carry me through upon the silent winds of beingness. I send love and light to that fearful girl inside who wants only to feel safe and know she'll be okay. I am not afraid to take flight. I am loved. I am safe.
Weekly Journal Challenge: Be present in your body this week. You can do this by focusing on your breathing for a moment or two. What feelings come up? Do not analyze or judge, just FEEL. Ask yourself, what are you using as your excuse for not taking action today? Create a journal page about what you discovered. I would love to visit any blogs that take me up on this. Just leave your invitation via a comment and link.